So exchange is most likely off the table. 98% not happening. The psychology department wouldn’t allow my minor to be completed over in the States, and then I had to completely reassess my reasons for going.
Which has kind of brought me back into this same loop that I do around August-October every year. The ‘what-the-fuck-am-I-actually-doing’ and ‘does-anything-i-do-even-matter’ existential crises. I postpone assignments for the month while reorganising my degree, finding out what I can even do with it, trying to figure out what I’ve gotten myself into, and then wondering why I’m not doing a whole other degree or a whole different lifestyle.
This September I’ve realised I should be doing psychology not criminology. I’ve looked at that HECS-Debt and decided I’d rather travel than spend my time with 18 year old Cali uni students asking for me to buy them alcohol and then owe another $9,000 to the Government.
Yet another close friend of mine has decided that there’s something better for them than university and is dropping out (this is friend number 7 to do so). I’ve always thought that me being distressed after them dropping out has been due to losing a close mate but I’ve finally realised that it’s because I know I should be doing something more with myself too.
So here comes into plan number two for 2018: move into share house, work hard, get more money, then once June exams end pack up and head to the American continent to travel until I’m broke (or uni starts again). I’ll travel, write, stop slacking off and start doing everything for myself. I’m so not suited to the nine-to-five, 2.5 kids life and should have taken advantage of knowing that earlier. Once I’m back I’ll finish this degree while getting experience through volunteering and an internship and then pack up and head away again.
The Meyer-Briggs personality test has me as ENFP (extraverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving). The description of the ENFP labels us as wanting to experience everything, needing to be in a constantly changing environment and always being challenged. This is why I suck at committing to stuff, its because I get so easily bored by everything. Hence why I should’ve known uni wasn’t for me. I’m good at it but my attitude towards it now is “been there, done that, what’s next?” I want to experience life from all perspectives.
Sooooo lets hope I can make the next eight months enjoyable, and still work hard towards this goal. I’ve saved $5000 in three and a half months so hopefully soon I’ll be able to slow down and enjoy my life here.
Ren
p.s. the header photo is from a favela in Rio de Janeiro. This is the kind of places I want to travel to, I just somehow gotta do it and survive. Guess you’ll know I’m still here while I’m still posting.
Ren Away 